Healing Gemma: From Trauma to Helping Heal Others | Madison, WI

Gemma and I were connected from the moment our eyes locked. She was a wonderful, beautiful horse. She had all the bells and whistles. Everything seemed fine in the very beginning. But shortly after she came to me, all of her trauma started to resurface. 

She didn't want to connect, didn't want to attach when I would try to ride. Often times, it was difficult for me to even get her out of the pasture. Her heart would open and then she would get really protective and pull back. I knew from my experience as a counselor that this behavior was all a trauma response — a survival mechanism saying, “I'll do whatever I need to do to survive, but I don't want to connect.”

The Body Keeps the Score

I had several trainers trying to help me. Natural horsemanship, different approaches. And a lot of them just criticized me for my gentle way with her but I was resolute that I would never beat my horse into submission to get her to comply. As I knew in my heart that something deeper was going on with her. Kinda like having a mother’s intuition.  

Finally, I found Nikki, who started doing bodywork on Gemma. And that's when we started to understand what really had happened to her. The body keeps the score — trauma is held within the body, held within the nervous system. And Gemma's body was telling us everything.

She used to weave, which is this repetitive swaying back and forth, as a way to self-soothe because she was so anxious which was her nervous system trying to cope. We noticed she was super head-shy, not wanting her head to be touched. And even had an incident where a great extent of her trauma surfaced when in a cross tie. While these moments were unnerving, they were signs of where to start. We had to work on trust, safety, and holding her in unconditional love in order to reach her.  She had been shut down in a survival state for a prolonged period of time. 

Nikki worked on her skull and could tell it was very misaligned. Gemma has a blaze on her face, and for the longest time it was curved to the point you could actually see the misalignment. Now it's straight, because the skull is much better and the neck has released a lot of the tension she was carrying.. Like many rescue animals, we don't know the full story since nobody tells you their full history, but her body told us a lot of what had happened and how we could help her to heal.

The Healing Journey

I was open to everything to help my horse. We did Reiki. We did bodywork — fascia releases, , massage, and muscle work. I tried essential oils, flower essences, different supplements, veterinary care. Allopathic approaches alongside the alternatives. Everything was complimentary. It all worked together to help things unwind.

There were almost times where even depression was present and it was palpable for her. It was like she was asking — what's my purpose? Why do we need to do this? It's too hard and I want to just give up. This I understood deeply because I've sat with clients who feel exactly the same way. The difference is that Gemma couldn't tell me in words. Her body was the only thing that was able to tell me and I had to listen.

The healing wasn't fast. It wasn't one thing. It was layers — releasing one layer at a time. And that's the truth of trauma work, whether it's with a horse or with a person. You don't fix it all at once. You meet it where it is and you let it unwind at the pace the nervous system allows.

Coming Full Circle

Once those layers were released, once that accumulation of trauma she'd held within her nervous system was cleared — she could hold space for others. She could be a bridge in a different way to help others who are walking through their own healing.

And that's the part of Gemma's story that matters most for the work we do together now. My clients that come out that are traumatized from something in their own lives can really relate to Gemma when they hear her story because they see that she came full circle. She's not stuck anymore. She's not in survival mode. She has purpose now, a different purpose. One that's heart-centered, even for her.

I use her story to help my clients connect with her, because when they see what she's been through and where she is now, something opens up for them.  That feeling and a knowing that if this horse can heal from her trauma, then I can too.   If she can go from not wanting to live to holding space for other people's healing — then maybe I can too. It’s not something I even have to say out loud in a session. Clients just feel it. They see it in her.

And now she knows her role. When clients come out, she's just like — okay. I know what I'm doing. She doesn't have to do anything dramatic. She just shows up differently. She's peaceful. She's present. And that presence does the work.

The thing about horses is they're so in the present moment. Gemma had past trauma, and she was carrying that in her current presence too — that's why she wouldn't connect. But once it was released and cleared, she could be fully here. And that's all healing really is — clearing what's in the way so you can be fully present. For Gemma, for my clients, and for all of us.

If you're carrying something that feels like it won't shift, sometimes the path forward looks different than you'd expect. Book a consultation to talk about equine assisted psychotherapy with Gemma in the beautiful pastures outside Madison, WI.